February 5, 2021

I Hired A Love Coach To Help Me Find A Boyfriend

Kissing

– So when I’m with you, I just feel like I can be my truest self. – Oh Pedro, I love you. – I love you too. – That’s me, eating a sandwich alone in the bushes. My name is Selorm and for a while now, being single has kind of been apart of my identity. I know what you’re thinking, “How does a charming, radiant, bombshell of a woman “like me have trouble finding a man?” That’s exactly what my mom says literally every day via text. When it comes to dating in LA, meeting people gets kinda weird.

There’s online dating apps but they’re also very weird. In order to meet someone, I have to learn to talk to people in the real world. So I did what any normal gal would do, I hired a love coach. (bell dings) A distractingly hot love coach. You are going to be my love coach. – I’m honored that you chose me. – You were the first person who popped up on Google. – That’s it, that’s how you chose? – That’s really it. (laughing) – No research. – What exactly happens when one hires a love life strategist? – I’ve been making videos for years about ways to help your love life and your confidence at the same time.

There are too many people that are single and not happy with being single. So my whole philosophy is, “Okay, firstly let’s figure out “how we can be happy no matter what happens. “But also let’s figure out how to create more choice.” When women say, “I’m old fashioned, “I don’t make the first move.” I say, “Well then you don’t know what old fashioned is.” Because old fashioned is 100 years ago, a woman walking past a guy and dropping her handkerchief and the guy sees it and he says, “This is an extraordinary opportunity to be a man.” Picks up the handkerchief, he walks it over to her and he says, “Madam, you dropped this.” And she says, “Did I?” (laughing) And they have a conversation.https://www.etonline.com/chrishell-stause-performs-to-pinks-raise-your-glass-for-dwts-premiere-night-152870 But he thought that was his idea. In this day and age, you have to figure out how to drop the handkerchief. It’s clever. – I’ll just carry some handkerchiefs on me and just throw them out. – Always carry a handkerchief. (laughing) – You mentioned that you’re gonna be putting me through some mini challenges this week. – From what you told me, being in a new environment would be good and meeting some new people.

– So when I’m with you, I just feel like I can be my truest self. – Oh Pedro, I love you. – I love you too. – That’s me, eating a sandwich alone in the bushes. My name is Selorm and for a while now, being single has kind of been apart of my identity. I know what you’re thinking, “How does a charming, radiant, bombshell of a woman “like me have trouble finding a man?” That’s exactly what my mom says literally every day via text. When it comes to dating in LA, meeting people gets kinda weird.

There’s online dating apps but they’re also very weird. In order to meet someone, I have to learn to talk to people in the real world. So I did what any normal gal would do, I hired a love coach. (bell dings) A distractingly hot love coach. You are going to be my love coach. – I’m honored that you chose me. – You were the first person who popped up on Google. – That’s it, that’s how you chose? – That’s really it. (laughing) – No research. – What exactly happens when one hires a love life strategist? – I’ve been making videos for years about ways to help your love life and your confidence at the same time.

There are too many people that are single and not happy with being single. So my whole philosophy is, “Okay, firstly let’s figure out “how we can be happy no matter what happens. “But also let’s figure out how to create more choice.” When women say, “I’m old fashioned, “I don’t make the first move.” I say, “Well then you don’t know what old fashioned is.” Because old fashioned is 100 years ago, a woman walking past a guy and dropping her handkerchief and the guy sees it and he says, “This is an extraordinary opportunity to be a man.” Picks up the handkerchief, he walks it over to her and he says, “Madam, you dropped this.” And she says, “Did I?” (laughing) And they have a conversation. But he thought that was his idea. In this day and age, you have to figure out how to drop the handkerchief. It’s clever. – I’ll just carry some handkerchiefs on me and just throw them out. – Always carry a handkerchief. (laughing) – You mentioned that you’re gonna be putting me through some mini challenges this week. – From what you told me, being in a new environment would be good and meeting some new people.

But also learning how to do a few new things when you’re there. A nice thing you can do in terms of dropping the handkerchief is just ask someone a favor. You say to a guy, “I could really use your help with something.” And it won’t feel to him like you approached him.

Instead it will just feel like he’s doing the polite thing. – Okay. (upbeat music) So I went off into the busy streets of Hollywood with a not so hidden camera to see if any of these gentlemen callers would answer my questions. Excuse me? Could I use your help?

I’m looking for something, my phone just died. Unfortunately while I was out there, I realized that once someone does you a favor, they kind of feel the need to leave and walk away. Which meant that I had to find some way to keep the conversation going, which I was not very good at. What else do I ask people?

Which way do I go? They’re like, “That a way.” Who bye. After getting rejected by pretty much everyone in Hollywood, I moved to a coffee shop, where it was a little easier to start conversation. I decided I was going to talk to a man who was reading newspapers in the corner. And I proceeded to do the most awkward dance around the room to find a way to talk to him.

I found a way to start a conversation by grabbing the newspaper he was reading and asking him if it was any good. And it actually started a long and interesting conversation between the two of us. Matthew was right, by asking a favor, I was able to break the wall and engage in conversation with a perfect stranger.

Success. (money clanking) – When you are talking to a guy, touch is really important. They don’t even necessarily register it consciously, but they’ll register more of a connection with you than the last person they spoke to. People wonder why it’s so hard to kiss someone at the end of a first date because the whole date we didn’t touch. And then all of a sudden I’m supposed to lean in and then bridge this mile long gap. If we’ve been doing that during the date, then it’s much easier for us to feel closer together.

So my mission to you is touch someone in the first 60 seconds. – That just sounds so weird. (laughing) Okay, so this one is a challenge for me. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not exactly a sensual toucher. I notice that a lot of the times when I touch someone, I give them this weird pat on the back, like they’re a kid that just scored a home run in little league.

Matthew was not a fan of this. – Okay, that was the worst thing (laughing) you could possibly do. You did that to me and I’m a guy you like, I wouldn’t think you liked me. A light touch on the arm. Like, “Oh my God, you have to hear about this.” Just that touch there will serve you a thousand times better than the old arm slap. – [Selorm] I managed to stop slapping people on the back, but instead I do this thing where I’d rest the back of my hand on their shoulder, kind of like a, “Okay, I touched you, that works.” This was definitely not a successful challenge for me. – One of the things that makes me scared, is if I think I’m gonna have to walk up to someone, start a whole conversation, and then stay there.

Instead, here’s something you can try. I call it, “Two Hit Theory.” Let’s say I go to the bar and order a drink. You could be standing next to me and I go, “Hey, how are you?” And you are, “I’m fine.” And I go, “Great. I hope you’re having a great night.” Maybe I cheers you, and then I walk off.

But the great thing about that is when you leave, you now seem much more approachable to that person, ’cause you already approached them. – Okay, so this was probably my favorite challenge that the love coach gave me. All I had to do was say hi to a guy, walk away and then go party, and they come to me. We’re at an Irish bar. – There are no cute boys. – Over the weekend, I went to a bar and a rooftop party at my friend’s house.

Both great places for me to try the Two Hit Theory. Thank you, I asked him what drink he was getting, it was genius. – It was a great approach. – He’s gay. – Yeah, only problem was. – Look, everyone is gay. A few hours went by and the men just simply weren’t coming.

But it was fine, I was having a great time and I wasn’t really worried about that. (gong rings) Oh my God. Okay, I’m not gonna lie, I thought a lot of the stuff that the love coach was saying was just kind of like not really relevant to my life, but there was this guy leaning against the bar that I thought was really cute. So I decided to try that whole thing where I go up, say hello, and then just walk away. And so I did it but I didn’t really expect anything to happen. By the time I’m walking to the car with my friends, he kind of chases me down to my friend’s car and he’s like, “Hey, can I get your number?” And I was like, “What?” I’m sorry, that doesn’t always happen.

I don’t know, I guess overall confidence works. I’m gonna go to bed now. (money clanking) – Now the last thing, what I want you to do is create a happy hour. Someone you wouldn’t normally invite for a drink.

You say to them, “Me and a couple of friends “are having drinks, I’m inviting a couple of people, “you’re welcome to join.” That doesn’t even have to be a guy you like, by the way. It could be a woman. It could just be someone that is an acquaintance but you feel like they could actually become a friend. – So the party was on.

I invited some friends and asked them to invite their friends. But I didn’t tell anyone that I was going to be using love coach tactics on them. So the goal for the day (bell dings) initiate conversation by using the two hit theory or asking a favor.

And touch someone within the first 60 seconds. – Bye. – Can I take a slub shot? – Oh yeah, sure. (bell dings) – Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. So you have to get this in the hole? – Yeah, she almost made it. – Is this pizza good. (bell dings) – I haven’t tried it yet. – Hey could I sit right here? – Of course. (bell dings) – Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. – Oh. – Nevermind, I suck at this. (laughing) It’s all good, (bell dings) I don’t mean to make you feel bad for eating. Instead of taking pictures of the animals, they were like let me take a picture real quick. (bell dings) – Yeah, just put me in a cage. – You’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay, guys. (bell dings) We’re all gonna be okay. (bell dings) You look so confused. – Oh yeah, sorry. – You’re just like, “I don’t understand any of this.” I’ve had this once before.

And I got food poisoning the next day. (laughing) – From this place? – Yeah. So if I get sick, you’re gonna bring me Pepto Bismol and all that stuff? – If you get sick don’t blame me. Just sue them. (laughs) – We should exchange numbers or something like that. Just in case – We should exchange numbers just in case, just in case. (money clanks) I think all of these challenges are really useful.

Dating

But they’re all just about getting out of your comfort zone and finding ways to talk to new people. I started to notice a lot of moments when walking down the street where I meet new people and I wanna talk to them. What this helped me realize is that everyone really wants to make conversation. Everyone wants to meet new people, but no one knows how to do it. (cheering) Any way that you can go out and just engage with a new person every day is completely worthwhile. (upbeat music)

I Hired A Love Coach To Help Me Find A Boyfriend

– So when I’m with you, I just feel like I can be my truest self. – Oh Pedro, I love you. – I love you too. – That’s me, eating a sandwich alone in the bushes. My name is Selorm and for a while now, being single has kind of been apart of my identity. I know what you’re thinking, “How does a charming, radiant, bombshell of a woman “like me have trouble finding a man?” That’s exactly what my mom says literally every day via text.

When it comes to dating in LA, meeting people gets kinda weird. There’s online dating apps but they’re also very weird. In order to meet someone, I have to learn to talk to people in the real world.

So I did what any normal gal would do, I hired a love coach. (bell dings) A distractingly hot love coach. You are going to be my love coach. – I’m honored that you chose me. – You were the first person who popped up on Google. – That’s it, that’s how you chose? – That’s really it. (laughing) – No research. – What exactly happens when one hires a love life strategist? – I’ve been making videos for years about ways to help your love life and your confidence at the same time. There are too many people that are single and not happy with being single. So my whole philosophy is, “Okay, firstly let’s figure out “how we can be happy no matter what happens. “But also let’s figure out how to create more choice.” When women say, “I’m old fashioned, “I don’t make the first move.” I say, “Well then you don’t know what old fashioned is.” Because old fashioned is 100 years ago, a woman walking past a guy and dropping her handkerchief and the guy sees it and he says, “This is an extraordinary opportunity to be a man.” Picks up the handkerchief, he walks it over to her and he says, “Madam, you dropped this.” And she says, “Did I?” (laughing) And they have a conversation.

But he thought that was his idea. In this day and age, you have to figure out how to drop the handkerchief. It’s clever. – I’ll just carry some handkerchiefs on me and just throw them out. – Always carry a handkerchief. (laughing) – You mentioned that you’re gonna be putting me through some mini challenges this week. – From what you told me, being in a new environment would be good and meeting some new people.

But also learning how to do a few new things when you’re there. A nice thing you can do in terms of dropping the handkerchief is just ask someone a favor. You say to a guy, “I could really use your help with something.” And it won’t feel to him like you approached him.

Instead it will just feel like he’s doing the polite thing. – Okay. (upbeat music) So I went off into the busy streets of Hollywood with a not so hidden camera to see if any of these gentlemen callers would answer my questions. Excuse me? Could I use your help? I’m looking for something, my phone just died. Unfortunately while I was out there, I realized that once someone does you a favor, they kind of feel the need to leave and walk away.

Which meant that I had to find some way to keep the conversation going, which I was not very good at. What else do I ask people? Which way do I go?

They’re like, “That a way.” Who bye. After getting rejected by pretty much everyone in Hollywood, I moved to a coffee shop, where it was a little easier to start conversation. I decided I was going to talk to a man who was reading newspapers in the corner.

And I proceeded to do the most awkward dance around the room to find a way to talk to him. I found a way to start a conversation by grabbing the newspaper he was reading and asking him if it was any good. And it actually started a long and interesting conversation between the two of us. Matthew was right, by asking a favor, I was able to break the wall and engage in conversation with a perfect stranger. Success. (money clanking) – When you are talking to a guy, touch is really important.

They don’t even necessarily register it consciously, but they’ll register more of a connection with you than the last person they spoke to. People wonder why it’s so hard to kiss someone at the end of a first date because the whole date we didn’t touch. And then all of a sudden I’m supposed to lean in and then bridge this mile long gap.

If we’ve been doing that during the date, then it’s much easier for us to feel closer together. So my mission to you is touch someone in the first 60 seconds. – That just sounds so weird. (laughing) Okay, so this one is a challenge for me. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not exactly a sensual toucher.

I notice that a lot of the times when I touch someone, I give them this weird pat on the back, like they’re a kid that just scored a home run in little league. Matthew was not a fan of this. – Okay, that was the worst thing (laughing) you could possibly do. You did that to me and I’m a guy you like, I wouldn’t think you liked me.

A light touch on the arm. Like, “Oh my God, you have to hear about this.” Just that touch there will serve you a thousand times better than the old arm slap. – [Selorm] I managed to stop slapping people on the back, but instead I do this thing where I’d rest the back of my hand on their shoulder, kind of like a, “Okay, I touched you, that works.” This was definitely not a successful challenge for me. – One of the things that makes me scared, is if I think I’m gonna have to walk up to someone, start a whole conversation, and then stay there. Instead, here’s something you can try. I call it, “Two Hit Theory.” Let’s say I go to the bar and order a drink. You could be standing next to me and I go, “Hey, how are you?” And you are, “I’m fine.” And I go, “Great.

I hope you’re having a great night.” Maybe I cheers you, and then I walk off. But the great thing about that is when you leave, you now seem much more approachable to that person, ’cause you already approached them. – Okay, so this was probably my favorite challenge that the love coach gave me. All I had to do was say hi to a guy, walk away and then go party, and they come to me. We’re at an Irish bar. – There are no cute boys. – Over the weekend, I went to a bar and a rooftop party at my friend’s house. Both great places for me to try the Two Hit Theory.

Thank you, I asked him what drink he was getting, it was genius. – It was a great approach. – He’s gay. – Yeah, only problem was. – Look, everyone is gay. A few hours went by and the men just simply weren’t coming. But it was fine, I was having a great time and I wasn’t really worried about that. (gong rings) Oh my God. Okay, I’m not gonna lie, I thought a lot of the stuff that the love coach was saying was just kind of like not really relevant to my life, but there was this guy leaning against the bar that I thought was really cute. So I decided to try that whole thing where I go up, say hello, and then just walk away.

And so I did it but I didn’t really expect anything to happen. By the time I’m walking to the car with my friends, he kind of chases me down to my friend’s car and he’s like, “Hey, can I get your number?” And I was like, “What?” I’m sorry, that doesn’t always happen. I don’t know, I guess overall confidence works.

I’m gonna go to bed now. (money clanking) – Now the last thing, what I want you to do is create a happy hour. Someone you wouldn’t normally invite for a drink. You say to them, “Me and a couple of friends “are having drinks, I’m inviting a couple of people, “you’re welcome to join.” That doesn’t even have to be a guy you like, by the way. It could be a woman. It could just be someone that is an acquaintance but you feel like they could actually become a friend. – So the party was on.

I invited some friends and asked them to invite their friends. But I didn’t tell anyone that I was going to be using love coach tactics on them. So the goal for the day (bell dings) initiate conversation by using the two hit theory or asking a favor.

And touch someone within the first 60 seconds. – Bye. – Can I take a slub shot? – Oh yeah, sure. (bell dings) – Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. So you have to get this in the hole? – Yeah, she almost made it. – Is this pizza good. (bell dings) – I haven’t tried it yet. – Hey could I sit right here? – Of course. (bell dings) – Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. – Oh. – Nevermind, I suck at this. (laughing) It’s all good, (bell dings) I don’t mean to make you feel bad for eating. Instead of taking pictures of the animals, they were like let me take a picture real quick. (bell dings) – Yeah, just put me in a cage. – You’re gonna be okay.

You’re gonna be okay, guys. (bell dings) We’re all gonna be okay. (bell dings) You look so confused. – Oh yeah, sorry. – You’re just like, “I don’t understand any of this.” I’ve had this once before. And I got food poisoning the next day. (laughing) – From this place? – Yeah. So if I get sick, you’re gonna bring me Pepto Bismol and all that stuff? – If you get sick don’t blame me.

Just sue them. (laughs) – We should exchange numbers or something like that. Just in case – We should exchange numbers just in case, just in case. (money clanks) I think all of these challenges are really useful. But they’re all just about getting out of your comfort zone and finding ways to talk to new people.

I started to notice a lot of moments when walking down the street where I meet new people and I wanna talk to them. What this helped me realize is that everyone really wants to make conversation. Everyone wants to meet new people, but no one knows how to do it. (cheering) Any way that you can go out and just engage with a new person every day is completely worthwhile. (upbeat music)

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