October 5, 2020

How To Ask For (And GET) What You Want…EVERY TIME | 5 Tips For Getting To YES

Relationships

So, every single week, I get at least a hundred request of people wanting things from me and I get it I put myself out there, I actually provide a lot of information. But, the vast majority of people ask for things in the wrong way and let me give you an example. A guy wrote me this letter and he’s like, hey, Antonio I love your blog, I’ve got a blog as well.

I’ve written this article, I see you’ve written this article. How about you link to me and if you agree I will consider linking back to you? Now, just out of curiosity, I went check out his site. He’s getting 10 people a day. I hit 70,000 people a day to my website.

That is not an even trade. Instantly I know what you’re trying to do, you’re trying to take advantage of me, get something pretty much for nothing and you you asked, but you really created a negative feeling. So, in today’s video, I’m going to teach you how to ask and how to get what you want every time. Now, I take that back, maybe not every single time, but I think if you use these tips, if you use this information you’re going to have a much higher success rate.

Now, these points I’m going to talk about you can use them on a wide variety of things, but specifically I’m going to be talking about maybe reaching out to VIPs in your industry to reaching out to hard to reach individuals, celebrities, or maybe someone at your company who just is notoriously hard to work with or to get to do something and to be able to convince this person that, yeah, it’s in their best interest they will want to help you.https://mtonews.com/brad-pitt-is-now-dating-a-black-woman-pics Tip number one for asking for and getting what you want is to actually ask for it. I know that seems pretty obvious pretty simple. But, oftentimes people make the assumption that people should just know what they want and they never ask. And a lot of people actually have set themselves up for success, they have been giving they’ve been contributing they’ve been putting in the time and effort, but they make the assumption that other people should read their mind or should be able to pick up on loose signals.

No, be straight to the point. Don’t be afraid to ask because here’s the way it works is that when you give and give to people they want to give back and I’ll talk about that in a second. But, when they give back to you, it improves the relationship even more.

So, every single week, I get at least a hundred request of people wanting things from me and I get it I put myself out there, I actually provide a lot of information. But, the vast majority of people ask for things in the wrong way and let me give you an example. A guy wrote me this letter and he’s like, hey, Antonio I love your blog, I’ve got a blog as well.

I’ve written this article, I see you’ve written this article. How about you link to me and if you agree I will consider linking back to you? Now, just out of curiosity, I went check out his site. He’s getting 10 people a day. I hit 70,000 people a day to my website.

That is not an even trade. Instantly I know what you’re trying to do, you’re trying to take advantage of me, get something pretty much for nothing and you you asked, but you really created a negative feeling. So, in today’s video, I’m going to teach you how to ask and how to get what you want every time. Now, I take that back, maybe not every single time, but I think if you use these tips, if you use this information you’re going to have a much higher success rate.

Now, these points I’m going to talk about you can use them on a wide variety of things, but specifically I’m going to be talking about maybe reaching out to VIPs in your industry to reaching out to hard to reach individuals, celebrities, or maybe someone at your company who just is notoriously hard to work with or to get to do something and to be able to convince this person that, yeah, it’s in their best interest they will want to help you. Tip number one for asking for and getting what you want is to actually ask for it. I know that seems pretty obvious pretty simple. But, oftentimes people make the assumption that people should just know what they want and they never ask. And a lot of people actually have set themselves up for success, they have been giving they’ve been contributing they’ve been putting in the time and effort, but they make the assumption that other people should read their mind or should be able to pick up on loose signals.

No, be straight to the point. Don’t be afraid to ask because here’s the way it works is that when you give and give to people they want to give back and I’ll talk about that in a second. But, when they give back to you, it improves the relationship even more.

Tip number two, understand and leverage the Law of Reciprocity. I first learned about this I think it was Cialdini’s Influence book and I went out and I did the research. Actually, I found the newspaper article that he talked about here, but get the story. So, on September 25th, 1985, $5,000 moved between Mexico and Ethiopia. And, what was big about the story is, you know, Ethiopia was going through a famine at this point, they had thousands of people dying more pest, I mean just some really bad stuff has been happening to that country.

Relationships

So, we would expect money to be being transferred. But, here is it didn’t go in that direction. Mexico did not send it to Ethiopia.

Ethiopia with their people dying sent the money — the Red Cross of Ethiopia sent it to Mexico. Why? Mexico had an earthquake, had but it was like wait a minute, why are you still it wasn’t a crazy amount of money, but why did you still send money when your own people are dying? Here’s what they said.

Back in 1935 when Italy invaded Ethiopia, Mexico came to our aid. We are going to stand with Mexico and give them help. Even though they were in this horrible position, the Law of Reciprocity and I can’t stress this enough is one of the most powerful things that you can enact with people. I have certain relationships that that person that, you know, they’ve got a direct line to me even though I tried to set myself up set barriers, there are certain people that because of the Law of Reciprocity, military members one of them. If you have served your country, I can tell you that I make a direct line to me because those are the kind of guys and women that I know that have put others ahead of themselves and police officers, firemen, EMTs.

I always look at that person, I have to give back because I’ve had times in my life when those people had been there for me and I will always bend over backwards. Understand the Law of Reciprocity is real, it is a very powerful driver, gentlemen, and you need to use it to your advantage. Tip number three. Keep it concise keep it to the point.

Successful people value their time. Tip number four. Understand the nature of your ask. Are you asking a favor or are you proposing a mutually beneficial relationship?

I can tell you the vast majority of people when they’re reaching out to someone and asking for something, they’re asking for a favor. A favor is when you have one party that’s asking for a lot more and there’s really no benefit to the other. Mutually beneficial relationships I think you can start off with the relationship that’s relatively weak and both parties are interested because we’re both going to benefit greatly from it.

You who are watching this video, hopefully you will go do the research and make sure you know what you’re asking for because when you know what you’re asking for, you can approach it in the right way. Tip number five. Follow up and be patient.

So, you sent out an e-mail, you called that person and they didn’t respond, that person obviously doesn’t want to talk to you they are a complete A-hole. Come on, maybe they just didn’t get the message, maybe life happened to them, maybe, you know, I’ve had e-mails that just never reached me. And people call me on the phone, they don’t even leave their number, I’m in another country and they expect me to track them down? So, that’s another thing is follow up, give them various ways to reach you. It’s okay to follow up two, three times, various modes of communication.

Find out that person’s preferred mode. Don’t be afraid, if you really want to reach somebody, go meet them in person. That’s one of the reasons I created my MENfluential formerly StyleCon event is so that people could actually talk to me.

If you want to talk to me about something, anyone at my event come up and shake my hand, they got me for five minutes. Pitch me, give me your idea, what do you want to talk about. That’s why I set it up. Take action here.

I want you to go join my free Facebook group. Guys, men in there who want to help you support you is you take action to take your image your style your communication skills to the next level. Join my e-mail newsletter. I’ve revamped this newsletter, got tons of solid information. Actually, I give you some insights some secret tips, things that there’s videos in there you will never see here on YouTube.

So, go join that newsletter. I’ll link to it down there in the description. Check out my courses, if you really want to take action, have some skin in the game, commit to becoming the man you know yourself to be.

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