September 10, 2020

My Boyfriend Asked to Send Him Some Pics

Dating

When I was in high school, I had very low self-esteem to begin with, but to make matters worse, I was often body shamed for being too skinny, taking my confidence from low to non-existent. I’d see other pretty girls walking and talking with guys in the hallway, ahhhh, what it must have been like to be in their shoes. I was so envious that I wasn’t capable of getting attention from boys like they did and couldn‘t see how I could ever make anyone like me. This is until I met Brent. Brent began walking with me in the Halls and helped carry my things, no boy had ever done this for me before and I couldn’t understand why he was either, I mean, he was tall, handsome and made me laugh almost every day, he could have had anyone he wanted!

I quickly began developing feelings for him since no male has ever given me this much attention. After being friends for a while, he came to me one day and asked me out, on a real date! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, I thought I was dreaming, so I quickly, and excitedly said yes before I woke up.

In the beginning, everything was great, I was on cloud 9, we called every night, text, walked together and held hands everywhere, he was the perfect boyfriend and we had what I thought was the perfect relationship. This was until a few weeks after we got together. He texted me one night and said, “hey, send me some pictures of you without clothes!”.

When I was in high school, I had very low self-esteem to begin with, but to make matters worse, I was often body shamed for being too skinny, taking my confidence from low to non-existent.https://www.theleague.com/faqs-app/ I’d see other pretty girls walking and talking with guys in the hallway, ahhhh, what it must have been like to be in their shoes. I was so envious that I wasn’t capable of getting attention from boys like they did and couldn’t see how I could ever make anyone like me. This is until I met Brent. Brent began walking with me in the Halls and helped carry my things, no boy had ever done this for me before and I couldn’t understand why he was either, I mean, he was tall, handsome and made me laugh almost every day, he could have had anyone he wanted!

I quickly began developing feelings for him since no male has ever given me this much attention. After being friends for a while, he came to me one day and asked me out, on a real date! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, I thought I was dreaming, so I quickly, and excitedly said yes before I woke up.

In the beginning, everything was great, I was on cloud 9, we called every night, text, walked together and held hands everywhere, he was the perfect boyfriend and we had what I thought was the perfect relationship. This was until a few weeks after we got together. He texted me one night and said, “hey, send me some pictures of you without clothes!”.

Without clothes?! his caught me off guard, and I thought he was just messing around at first since we do that a lot, so I sent him a cherry emoji. “No, for real this time.” He responded. I declined but, he wouldn’t stop pleading for it. I shut off my phone and tried to go to bed, but, my phone was vibrating on each notification like crazy. “Please,” he spammed, pleading with me to send him a picture.

That’s when I made a stupid decision. I made the decision to send him some pics, but it wasn’t completely without clothes, more, cute or at the very most a little seductive. That was the worst decision I could have made, he started asking for more every single day. he more he got, the further he would push things and pressure me into situations that I just wasn’t comfortable in. All of the fun and playful times we used to have together… …GONE!

Relationships

Now everything was about those pictures or touching and I was sick of it… He would grab me in places where I didn’t want to be grabbed and continued to ask for more and more pictures. Eventually, I just couldn’t take it anymore and I decided to break up with him. One day I checked my phone and he had posted multiple pictures of his eyes all teary on social media with a caption that read, “Took a big fat L, now my wrist is my new cutting board.” Immediately a bunch of his friends started adding and messaging me to attack and insult me. I became overwhelmed and consumed by guilt.

He’d paid attention to me when no one else would, maybe I was in the wrong? I cried for the rest of the week and got continually bombarded with texts from him about how it’s all my fault, I’m the reason he doesn’t want to go on anymore and I’m the reason his life’s a mess! Monday arrived and during first period I got called into the school’s office. The walk down the hall felt long and lonely, my heart was beating out of my chest and my mind was racing, was I in trouble? had something happened?

When I sat down, the school counsellor said she had heard about Brent wanting to hurt himself. Someone had told her just to get me in trouble. I burst into tears and began apologising to the counsellor, I was scared, I hadn’t been in trouble in school before and I didn’t know what was going to happen next. That’s when I felt it, the counsellor’s hand on my shoulder, not in anger or disappointment, but to comfort me, she sat with me and told me I had every right to break up with somebody if I wasn’t comfortable and Brent had been clearly trying to manipulate me.

The weekend of doubting myself, sadness, and worry was all behind me and I was being reassured that I had done the right thing. The thing is, if it wasn’t for someone trying to get me in trouble, I don’t think I would have spoken to anyone and I would have kept it bottled up inside me. The counsellor said it was wrong of him to push me into things I wasn’t comfortable with, and wrong to try and manipulate me into getting back with him.

After our conversation, she called in Brent and his family. His parents were furious with him, they obviously had no idea what had been going on, so they grounded him and took his phone away. I thought this was going to be the end of it and we would both be able to move on and forget about things. But Brent and his friends had different ideas and became even more angry.

I continued getting hate, dirty looks, and rumours spread about me, and you know, at first, it really hurt me and brought my self-esteem that I’d found over the last few months crashing back to reality, but then I realised, it’s them who have the problem, not me. I have my old friends around me and this situation isn’t even relevant anymore. Even now, I still hear the odd remark from him and his friends and I still feel some sadness about the good memories we made together, but I know they are long gone and I have seen the real him, and the mean comments… I just don’t let them bother me, every time I hear something negative, I feel like it builds up my confidence and I’ve learnt to love myself for who I am and get on with my own life.

I still do regret giving Brent what he wanted just to make him happy even though I wasn’t comfortable. But this experience taught me a lot and made me stronger in the end. What I learnt from this, is if you aren’t comfortable doing something, don’t do it just because it pleases someone else. Never feel like something is all your fault without thinking it through and if things get too bad, go and speak with someone for advice, I was lucky and got forced into speaking with someone, but I wish I had done it earlier.

Learn to love yourself and do what YOU think feels right and what makes YOU happy. You are SO important and if you realise your worth and amazing values, any hate that comes your way won’t leave a dent!

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