June 25, 2020

How to Say No to a Guy Without Hurting Him

Hey girls! Tiffany Dawn here and today I want to talk about this amazing email that I got from one of you girls. And you wrote in asking like, “There’s this guy that I’ve been friends with for a while. I really appreciate his friendship and he’s an awesome guy but he asked what I would say if he asked me out.” And she’s like, “I don’t know what to say cause like I don’t see him that way and I just want to stay friends but I also really don’t want to hurt him.

So how do I respond?” And the thing is like in a situation like that there’s no way to totally and 100% avoid hurting somebody because if someone puts their heart out like that and takes a risk like that, like you are vulnerable. And if the person says no, even in the nicest way, there is gonna be a little bit of disappointment or maybe a little bit of hurt. However we can say no in those situations in a way that’s really encouraging and life-giving or you can say no in a way that just tears the person down and makes them feel really stupid for even asking. And we don’t want to do that; we don’t want people to feel that way. So today I have three tips for you, three things that I would recommend that you include if a guy asks you out and you don’t want to go out with him.

Now this might not completely apply if a guy is like asking you out over and over and he’s like not a good guy and he’s being real sketchy about it. I would give a slightly different advice in that situation. Not that you ever want to be mean to someone, but you might need to be like real firm.https://cc.bingj.com/cache.aspx?q=facebook+dating+review Like cut out the nice stuff and just be like, “I’m not interested” at some point. But this video specifically is like for really great guys — guys that maybe you’re even friends with — who are asking you out.

And here are three things that I would include in your response to them. So number one is let him know that you’re honored that he asked. Like, “Wow, thank you so much for asking me!” And just affirm like, “That takes a lot of courage to ask a girl that and to put yourself out like that.

I’m just like thank you for asking me and like having the courage to ask me.” Tip number two is be honest and straightforward. I think a lot of times we feel bad being honest and straightforward as women, but it’s really important. Like guys usually seem to take things at face value and so if you say like, “Oh I don’t really see anything right now with you,” to them that usually will mean like, “Oh so not right now but maybe in a few months I’ll ask her again.” And then you’re like leading him on with this hope that doesn’t exist in your mind but you were just trying to be too nice.

So you really need to be honest and straightforward. And for a guy, from what I understand, that’s actually the nicer thing to do – to be honest. So like, “Thank you so much for asking me. I really just see you as a friend.” Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Hey girls! Tiffany Dawn here and today I want to talk about this amazing email that I got from one of you girls. And you wrote in asking like, “There’s this guy that I’ve been friends with for a while. I really appreciate his friendship and he’s an awesome guy but he asked what I would say if he asked me out.” And she’s like, “I don’t know what to say cause like I don’t see him that way and I just want to stay friends but I also really don’t want to hurt him.

So how do I respond?” And the thing is like in a situation like that there’s no way to totally and 100% avoid hurting somebody because if someone puts their heart out like that and takes a risk like that, like you are vulnerable. And if the person says no, even in the nicest way, there is gonna be a little bit of disappointment or maybe a little bit of hurt. However we can say no in those situations in a way that’s really encouraging and life-giving or you can say no in a way that just tears the person down and makes them feel really stupid for even asking. And we don’t want to do that; we don’t want people to feel that way. So today I have three tips for you, three things that I would recommend that you include if a guy asks you out and you don’t want to go out with him.

Now this might not completely apply if a guy is like asking you out over and over and he’s like not a good guy and he’s being real sketchy about it. I would give a slightly different advice in that situation. Not that you ever want to be mean to someone, but you might need to be like real firm. Like cut out the nice stuff and just be like, “I’m not interested” at some point. But this video specifically is like for really great guys — guys that maybe you’re even friends with — who are asking you out.

And here are three things that I would include in your response to them. So number one is let him know that you’re honored that he asked. Like, “Wow, thank you so much for asking me!” And just affirm like, “That takes a lot of courage to ask a girl that and to put yourself out like that.

I’m just like thank you for asking me and like having the courage to ask me.” Tip number two is be honest and straightforward. I think a lot of times we feel bad being honest and straightforward as women, but it’s really important. Like guys usually seem to take things at face value and so if you say like, “Oh I don’t really see anything right now with you,” to them that usually will mean like, “Oh so not right now but maybe in a few months I’ll ask her again.” And then you’re like leading him on with this hope that doesn’t exist in your mind but you were just trying to be too nice.

So you really need to be honest and straightforward. And for a guy, from what I understand, that’s actually the nicer thing to do – to be honest. So like, “Thank you so much for asking me. I really just see you as a friend.” Say what you mean and mean what you say.

And then number three: Let him know what you like about him. Like just affirm him, that he really is a great guy that you’re not saying no because he’s a terrible person. Unless of course he is a terrible person; then you can leave this part out. But I think for most guys who ask us out, there’s these qualities that you probably really like about him or you really enjoy his friendship.

And just kind of let him know one or two of those things. You could say like, “There’s a lot of things I really admire about you.” Just even something as simple as that so that he doesn’t leave thinking like, “What’s wrong with me?” Which is easy to think when you’ve been rejected. So to string all those things together, there’s different ways that you could say it and you want it to feel like it’s coming from you and genuine to you. But like an example would just be, “Wow thank you so much for asking me.

Like I know that takes a lot of courage and I just really appreciate that. Honestly I just see us as friends and not more than that. Like I think you’re an awesome guy and there’s so many things that I admire about you but I just I don’t feel that way about you and I would love to just stay friends.” Plain and simple.

You’ve got – you’re honoring him, thanking him, you’re affirming him, and you’re being honest and straightforward about exactly how you feel. And you know afterwards it might feel awkward for a little bit. That’s normal.

That happens anytime somebody feels rejected at all. Like there could be a little bit of awkwardness. But as time passes you’ll find that you can feel more normal around him and he can feel more normal around you because you handled it in a really good way. And girls if you’re the one who’s felt like you’ve been rejected a lot – I know I’ve definitely been there – I have a video all about: How do you deal with rejection?

Which is linked down below, that you should totally check out. So I love you girls and I’ll see you on Tuesday for a 30 week of pregnancy update! Bye.

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